Started out to be a good weekend. Thought I’d get some yard work done, and was moving a treadmill off my back porch… folded the thing up and latched it and hauled it into the garage, when the latch snapped and the whole thing unfolded and smashed onto my foot, so I’ve spent the weekend in bed with a swollen toe. The big toe is all purple and black and about three times its normal size, and I can’t walk, so for the second week in a row, there’s not gonna be much in the way of reviews. Fortunately, there are no movies out currently that are worth seeing (not even “Pineapple Express”!), but here’s the best I can do for the weekend of August 10th:

Ready? Let’s go:

Because your injured reviewer was (and still is!) high on hydrocodone for pain (hey, if it’s good enough for Heath Ledger), no movies were reviewed this weekend, I’m just going straight to next week’s offerings:

Star Wars: The Clone Wars – “The force is very strong today. It has turned us all into a bunch of cartoons!” Bad enough when most of the Star Wars characters are muppets, but cartoons?

Mirrors – a mirror that shows people the worst aspects of themselves. (How many Munkys see that every morning when they wake up and brush their teeth?) With Kiefer Sutherland.

Tropic Thunder – This one actually starts on Wednesday, so start lining up early. I’m going to have to fill out a handicapped parking space application, because I’m not missing this one! Yeah, I know I said I’d never review another Jack Black live action movie again, but what I’ve seen so far is some great stuff.

Here are some current DVD releases:

The Ruins – I read the book about a year ago, and was very impressed with it until the last 20 pages or so. Basically, it’s a horror movie about some American tourists down in Mexico visiting an ancient Mayan pyramid, and they meet Audrey (from “The Little Shop of Horrors”), who won’t let them leave. About 90 minutes of “Feed me Seymour!” ensue. They’ve changed the ending from the book, so it’s only slightly better, but you still won’t like it.

Munky Doo!

Lions for Lambs – I think I saw most of this, but I can’t remember. Meryl Streep, Tom Cruise and Robert Redford all debate the merits of the fight in Iraq and the search for Taliban terrorists. One of the most non-action action movies I’ve ever seen. I wish I had seen this after my encounter with a treadmill… I wouldn’t have had any need for painkillers, the movie is that bad. Hard to stay awake through this one.

Munky Doo!

The Amateurs – Jeff Bridges plays a man who can’t do anything right in his life. His wife has left him, he can’t hold a job, and is broke and down on his luck. The only thing he has going for him are his friends. One day, he gets the idea that to redeem himself, he is going to get rich by making a porno movie, in which he gets his friends to help finance, direct and star in.

This is a very funny movie and is not as sleazy as it might sound. (There is not one drop of nudity in the entire movie, despite the subject matter!) Also stars Ted Danson, Joey Pantoliano, Tim Blake Nelson, and Valerie Perrine (Valerie Perrine?). Worth 98 minutes of your life.

Munky Si!

That all I have time for this week. Have a date with some more hydrocodone and an ice pack. Next week will be a better week for reviews (especially with “Tropic Thunder” on its way out!), so I’ll catch up with you then!

Agree/Disagree? Something you want reviewed or want to review it yourself? Comments are especially welcome, and I’ll try to get you a response to every comment/submission. You can contact me at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it .

Thanks for your time this week! Now you gotta get out of here, I have some real work to do!