Welcome to the second in a series (hope you’re awake this time Munkys!) of reviews for CouchMunky! Before we start, I’ll give you a few rules here… I don’t usually review CD’s, concerts, anything on the Speed channel or off the dollar menu at McDonalds. What I will review is anything that catches my interest, sticking to mainly these four topics:

We’ll start with Movies. For you Munkys who don’t get out much, here are the top ten movies for the July 13th weekend. One note, I’m not giving any detailed plot synopsis, you can get that out of your local newspaper, through Entertainment Weekly, or Wikipedia, ok? If you lazy Munkys haven’t yet seen the movies, I don’t want you flinging your poo at my direction because I ruined the movie for you. You want plot details, you can look elsewhere, then come back here. Really, I’ll wait. I don’t have anything scheduled until 3:30 anyway.

Ready? Let’s go:

1. Hellboy II: The Golden Army – if you read my predictions for last week, you might remember that I thought this would be the second most watched movie last weekend. Even a Munky can be wrong! Do you realize that by this time next week, three of the top ten movies will be starring super-heroes? I guess it could be worse, they could have all starred Eddie Murphy...

I didn’t get a chance to see this one over the weekend. Wasn’t sure I wanted to, but after reading some of the reviews, I’ll have to see if I can get out to watch this one soon!

Not reviewed

2. Hancock – I did see this one, and I gotta warn you of something. There is a major plot twist you won’t see coming about halfway through, which may ruin the rest of the movie for you. Wikipedia will give you the details if you Munkys really want to know, but for me, it didn’t ruin the story much. Bottom line, this is a good kind of movie you Munkys will really like. And when was the last time you heard the theme from “Sanford and Son” as part of the soundtrack?

Munky Si!

3. Journey to the Center of the Earth – at least this one did better than I expected it would. Sorry Munkys, I won’t probably get around to seeing this one, but I will when it comes out to DVD. Hopefully you can stand the wait.

Not reviewed

4. Wall-E – the newest movie from Dixney/Pixar. I fully expected to dislike this movie. Except for the movie trailer, there was virtually no hype for this movie. No toys, no cereal boxes, not even any hint of any celebrities in the movie. This movie seemed destined to go down in history as the worst Pixar movie since Ratatouille.

Here’s the surprise. This is actually a great movie! A couple of big surprises were the voice casting of Fred Willard and Sigourney Weaver (who does the voice of the ship’s computer!). There are some very nice touches in this movie, from Wall-E’s constant amazement at the objects he finds discarded during his cleanup of Earth (a Pong game!), to the lack of dialogue in the movie. This movie is a visual treat for the eyes, the best Pixar movie made (and the most expensive at $180 million!), and the sparse dialogue doesn’t get in the way of the eye candy.

Munky Si!

5. Wanted – based on the 6 issue comic book by Mark Millar and J.G. Jones, (Actually I just threw that out there to impress you Munkys!) with some changes that I feel improved the storyline of the comic book. For example, in the comic book, you don’t get to see Angelina Jolie’s getting out of a bathtub. She has so many tattoos in this movie, she even looks like a comic book!

Munky Si!

6. Get Smart – Recently, I spent a week hanging around a house on the beach in Oxnard, California. Now I’m not much on beaches, so fortunately there was a TV station that was dedicated to showing old television shows, so I spent quite a bit of time watching Quincy M.E. and some Wild, Wild West. But here is the best part! This station also devoted a hour each night to Get Smart reruns. I was able to catch quite a bit of it, and I now realized how much that show is dated. I never could figure out how such a moron could be such a successful secret agent.

Munky Si!

7. Meet Dave - please don’t make me review this! Won’t even be in the top ten next week anyway!

Not reviewed

8. Kung Fu Panda – not sure I’ll see this one in the theaters. Jack Black is kind of hit and miss with me. I’m still rinsing out my mouth with extra strength Listerine after the bad taste I got from seeing “Nacho Libre”. Looks like I’ll be waiting for the DVD.

Not reviewed

9. Kit Kittredge: An American Girl – this movie is hot! Lots of exciting sex scenes (especially the three way on a pool table!), I’ll have to see this one again! Actually, this film was...

Not reviewed

10. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull – so how do you escape from a town due to be hit with a nuclear bomb in less than a minute? Once you find out, the movie really slows down, with the introduction of Mutt Williams, played by Shia LeBeouf. Don’t like him, don’t need him, and don’t need to see him again. This is the guy who may be taking over the franchise? Say it ain’t so Steve!

Still, this is a much more enjoyable movie than “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” (but then again, so was “Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo”), and I might consider this the second best movie of the franchise, after the initial “Raiders of the Lost Ark”. I haven’t seen “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” since May of 1989, and I really liked it then, but I don’t remember much about it now.

One of the highlights of the series, is that when you think about it, the first three movies took place during the 1930’s, back when “cliffhanger serials” were popular, and the new movie, taking place nearly 20 years after the last one, in 1957, is reminiscent of the “aliens” theme in films of the 1950’s, although don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a remake of “E.T” or “Close Encounters of the Third Kind”. There are no aliens in this movie, it’s just used as a plot point.

Munky Si!

Hey! Not a single Munky Doo in the bunch!

And coming up this weekend:

The Dark Knight – Do I really need to review this? You Munkys have already seen this already, and if you haven’t, nothing I can do or say will convince you to see it anyway. We’ll compare notes on this next time.

Mamma Mia! – What’s not to like? It’s Meryl Streep and Abba songs! Actually that’s plenty enough to keep me away from this. Sorry, won’t be reviewed by me.

Space Chimps – a documentary about the 2008 Presidential election. Actually, it’s not, but there isn’t a single Munky who will waste their time on this, no matter what this movie will be about. I don’t plan on reviewing this, even for CouchMunky.

Skipping to books:

Three Shirt Deal by Stephen J. Cannell – the seventh book in the Shane Scully series, and his 14th book overall. For you those who don’t know, Cannell has created some of your favorite television shows, from A-Team the Rockford Files to The Greatest American Hero. For the last few years, he has spent more time writing novels than television shows, and the result is one of his best thrillers yet. Shane Scully (no relation to Mulder’s partner) is a Los Angeles detective, up to his neck in Internal Affairs and personal problems with his wife and son. The plot goes something like this (hold on to your bananas here Munkys!): A man, convicted of killing his mother to support a meth habit, is railroaded by the cops into confessing to the crime, but when Scully investigates, he not only finds out that the suspect may be innocent, and the real crime was to cover a winning lottery ticket!

Munkys, do me a favor. Start with Cannell’s book, “The Tin Collectors” available in paperback, and follow this series through. You’ll thank me later!

Munky Si!

Let’s try some current DVD releases:

War – Jason Statham and Jet Li. The FBI against the Yazuka. Lots of violence, some nudity and no plot. At least not one that I can remember. And a gag reel as a DVD extra? If the movie didn’t make you gag, then this feature will. I kept getting confused by what was going on, and the final scenes will make you scratch your head in disbelief.

Munky Doo!

Savages – Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Laura Linney. Sister and brother has to take care of their father (who is dying and suffers from dementia), who has never been able to take care of them. Not sure I liked it enough to recommend it, but I kind of liked it, and therefore it gets a...

Munky Si!

The Condemned - you’ve probably have seen this movie. Ten death row inmates compete against each other on a deserted island for the chance to win their freedom and fabulous cash and prizes, and the whole thing is broadcast live on television (ok, the internet). Substitute Arnold Schwarzenegger with Stone Cold Steve Austin and you have this rip-off of “The Running Man”. After watching this, I felt like I was “Con-Dumbed”. Stay away from this one.

Munky Doo!

Let’s have some television. Normally I won’t review a particular show, because if you haven’t seen it, it won’t do you any good to read the review.

Deadliest Catch – now in it’s fourth season on the Discovery Channel. Now who would have ever thought that a series on crab fishing would make for good, entertaining television? Me either.

The show follows crab fisherman throughout the fishing season in Alaska, and is due to return for a fifth season later this year. It has what every Munky needs: action, adventure, danger and time out for potty breaks.

Munky Si!

A couple of extras in this weeks issue:

Website of the week - If you’re the type of Munky who loves movies, and trading on the stock market, you’ll love www.Hsx.com! The Hollywood Stock Exchange will pay you $2 million Hollywood Dollars, which you can use to buy MovieStocks and/or StarBonds with a click of your mouse, and build a portfolio speculating on futures of movies in production (or soon to be in production), and the stars in them! As your portfolio grows, you can trade you Hollywood Dollars for cool stuff, like t-shirts and coffee mugs, and it’s free to join. Best of all, information on upcoming movies, with release dates and plot summaries.

Movie trailers

Sometimes, the best part about going to the movie is watching the trailers for upcoming movies. And some of the best, which you may not even know about are here:

The Day the Earth Stood Still
starring Keanu Reeves, and opening on December 12th.

Punisher: War Zone
opening on December 5th.

The Spirit
starring Samuel L. Jackson, and should fulfill your “hottie” quotient, with appearances by Eva Mendes and Scarlett Johansson. If you liked “Sin City”, you’ll love this one!

And that ends another week of Munky Si, Monkey Doo. Don’t forget, we need your help! There are way too many movies out there, way too many books to read, too many television shows and too many DVDs (and now… websites and movie trailers!) for one Munky to review. I won’t always be able to review this much in one week, so that where you come in, to pick up some slack. Reviews aren’t limited to just these topics. If you have something interesting which you would like to review, put it in writing and submit it, including the items on the dollar menu at McDonalds.

Again, let me know if you agree or disagree with my reviews. Comments are especially welcome, and I’ll try to get you a response to every comment/submission. You can contact me at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it .

Thanks for your time this week! Now you gotta get out of here, I have some real work to do!